Today I made it my special day. After running my errands with my Dad, I showed my parents Dave’s PS2 and Katamari game before they went to work. CJ was a pretty good boy today, and he let me play for the most part. Then we came home, and had lunch, I played some more. My mother in law came over for our afternoon ritual, of supper and NCIS…she watched CJ while I showered, we went shopping, got some Chinese food, and watched the new episode.  It was a good day. No real pressure, no hard fighting with CJ, just chilling with a mindless game of rolling up the world…which I did, right into the sun. It was a good day.
Dear God did I miss days like this. More than anything else since being a Mom. The only thing that would have been better is if I could have slept in and didn’t have to change diapers.

Now I say this…but at the same time, I know that I am extremely unstable. I can be going really good, and any little thing comes around and makes me question my entire existance, and in a puddle in the floor. I guess it just makes me appreciate the little simple special moments a bit more now because they are so much fewer and in much greater contrast than before.