While in Majestic in South East Asia:

You have been having many wonderful dreams of Minoru. Everything is perfect just the way you would like it. He is everything that you ever thought or hoped that he could be. You have been having this dream so often that is feels like you have lived your entire life with him and it was perfect.

And that is why your head now hurts. Nothing is that perfect and for that matter one of the main reasons that you loved Minoru is that he was himself and not everything you wanted him to be. Now that you are closer to seeing Minoru again, the dream is seemingly less and less perfect as the reality of where you are begins to sink-in.

With the help of Kaji's instructions you have begin to realize that the dreams that you have been having of Minoru are not really your dreams. The meditation techniques that he has shown you have been used to enter a waking dream in which you have lived the, oh so, perfect dream again but now from a third person perspective. This time there was a very clear and malicious presence in you dream. Everything in your being hopes that this presence is not Minoru, but your instincts are telling you otherwise.

Now you are not sure if you can sleep again knowing what is waiting for you but Kaji's meditation technique is not the same as sleep. You fear what might happen if you lose your edge in this place. Especially, since you do not want to have anyone else's blood on your hands again.