Rojo's Journal

I was just sitting in the chair, watching K. I must have fallen asleep. I dreamt that I had a small fishing boat. We were pulling in the net. It was me and two kids. A boy and girl, around 10. They looked like me and Arin, but not quite, I noticed a bit of a point to their ears. I heard something and turned. K was at the helm, he was pointing out to the water, and yelling something at me. I turned and somehow I had slipped. I fell into the water. I saw him and the kids at the railing reaching out to me, Bran held out his cane, but they couldn’t reach. Then a shark grabbed me by the ankle. I remember thinking “Gods damned Varuulani pet!” It had stripes on it’s fin like an officer’s uniform markings. Then it pulled me under really hard and I felt a whack with K’s cane on the back of my head.
I woke up with a start, reaching to grab that damn cane away from him (next time he hits me with that thing, I’m going to take it away from him), but my hand hit the floor. I realized I had slid off the chair, and that thump must have been my head hitting the floor.
I looked around, shut the door which was open a bit for some reason, and checked on K. He was still out. Pava’s drugs seemed to be working really well after those strange oozes attacked us and paralyzed him. I’m still really worried about him. I try not to think about it, but what if he never wakes up? I don’t know if I can handle that. Not again.

~B

I talked to Pava, I had to ask. “Did Arin ever talk about me?” Not that she could remember. Wow. Talk about a blow to the ego. I know it’s not her or Kit’s fault that their family bought Arin, but, to hear her say “He was like a brother to me.” just hurts. That was supposed to be me. I try to feel glad that he’s happy with Kit, but I just feel jealous. I guess somehow when he got free I wanted things to go back to the way they were before the slave ship. Stupid.
One good thing, K is keeping my mind off that. He is such a welcome and wonderful distraction. I still keep thinking that it’s too good to be true. That Arin should be free now, and that I can have K.
He knows me, and still wants me. I’m just worried about him. There are secrets and I see them eating at him. I want to see him without that weight hanging over his head. I know he’s trying to protect me from it, but it hurts to not see him happy.
When he doesn’t have anything to hold back, I think we’ll be able to enjoy each other even more.
~B